Managing the 4 Appetites Effectively — Part 2
The Chains of Habit Are Too Light To Be Felt Until They Are Too Heavy To Be Broken. — Warren Buffet, in the Secret Millionaire’s Club Series
I am really grateful to all of you who read my blog and have been sharing very useful feedback especially on the content and how it has blessed you. I am excited to hear that many of my thoughts and experiences are blessing you.
For those of you who are reading my blog for the first time, I have already written two articles as a part of this series on SELF CONTROL. The first one was describing the appetites and in the second one, I shared how we can manage the first three appetites. In part 2, we are going to be sharing on how we can manage our sexual appetite.
Sex: Like everyone else, I have had struggles with this one especially in my past life. Struggles ranging from watching porn to flirting with girls, erotic thoughts and reading erotic literature. You can name it. These struggles were real, and I knew that if I did not deal with them, my lifestyle would certainly be a threat to my progress.
In my view, sexual appetite is the most challenging appetite to deal with especially given the excitement it creates within our own bodies. Here are a few tips I have learnt over the years that help me manage this appetite:
- Stop it and find more productive ways of spending your time: Whether you are watching porn, being promiscuous or continuously cultivating erotic ideas, there is no other way to get over these habits apart from stopping them immediately. A key tip is not overthinking it but simply stopping. Even though the habit may seem enjoyable at the time, you must stop doing it because deep down in your heart you know you are doing the wrong thing.
- Know your weaknesses. Another great thing you want to do for yourself is to know your weaknesses especially when it comes to sexual desires. What have you struggled with in the past? Once you have identified it then find all the possible ways of staying away from it. As time goes on, you build the resilience needed to conquer it and with time it will not be a struggle.
- Keep yourself active to avoid those erotic and toxic thoughts. I usually try to avoid being idle. Remember that old saying from Proverbs 16: 27…
“Idle hands are the devil’s workshop; idle lips are his mouthpiece.”
Always plan out your time well beforehand and make sure you follow through with your plans. That’s one of the surest ways of avoiding erotic and toxic thoughts.
Make sure you also plan out your recreation. Do not leave that to chance and luck. Plan to engage in sports, good movies (ones that do not stimulate your sexual desires), read a good book, meditate, take a walk and reflect on your life etc.
- Avoid stimuli — porn, erotic music & movies, literature. Make sure you avoid anything that could stimulate your feelings. This includes pornographic content, erotic music and movies. Simply stay away from any of these.
- Be accountable to someone. Like in all areas of life, being accountable to a certain authority is a great place to help you manage sexual appetite. I know of two friends who decided to hold each other accountable when it came to this appetite and have had great success at staying out of trouble. They would share with each other on how they struggled with thoughts, images and videos they were exposed to etc. They would then encourage each other to stay away from anything that would stimulate sexual feelings or argues. This relationship helped them overcome. If you decide to go this route, please remember that this form of accountability requires openness to the person you are accountable to. This is for your own good so lying or withholding critical information will not help you. Find someone you trust and be open; this is the only way accountability will work for you.
All the tips I have shared require for one to be deliberate. Managing the 4 appetites cannot be left to just chance and luck. You must be deliberate. You must go beyond just praying about it to putting in place systems and controls to ensure you get out of it (if you are already trapped in there) or that you don’t get there in the very first place.