Preparing Boys for Fatherhood — Part 2 — A Father’s Day Series
2. Planning out your family
When many couples get married, they know they want to have children but, in many cases, they don’t plan well for it. Decisions like when to have and how many children you want to have need to be taken seriously. . It shouldn’t be left to chance. Many times you will hear couples saying we conceived this child by “mistake”. The mistake being referred to in this case is not that the couple made a mistake in conceiving the child but rather that the couple had neither planned nor expected the baby in that moment
This is not a bad thing per se, and this does not mean that the couple does not love the child conceived this way. The reality though is, this lack of planning can cause various challenges. There are financial pressures and constraints that that come up each time you have a new baby that if not handled well may affect your relationship with your spouse and children .
My wife and I were not any different. We were not intentional in this area and as such, were not ready for the birth of one of our children. We have since learnt to be intentional about planning for the number of children we would like to have and when we want to have them. This has improved our relationship as a couple, our relationship with our children and our finances are in a better place. We can now afford to invest in assets and pursue further studies as well as our other career goals without having to worry about “surprise” children.
As the head of the home, I had to take charge of this and I must say this has made me a better husband and father. As a couple, we are able to take care of our family better while pursuing all other goals at the same time.
This is certainly one of the lessons I wish I was taught in preparation for fatherhood and I would like to share it with any new or upcoming fathers out there.